The Winterrose Chronicles 16: Who Moved My Cheese?!?

The man takes Ambian. I'm not sure if it helps him sleep but it sure makes for some great entertainment. It also helps him get up in the middle of the night and take random things out of the freezer and put them in the refrigerator. Helpful stuff that Ambian! (Melted half gallons of sherbet are a pain in the butt to clean out of your fridge...just a helpful tip.)

Tonight The Kid, The Man, and I were reading Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire before bed. We were all in the "Bed of Unproven Fertility" eating grapes and string cheese and pretty much just enjoying the book. Glory and I were also trying not to freeze because The Man likes it colder than we do, so the air conditioner is pretty much ON for an hour before bed.

BRRR!

It was my turn to read and since The Kid likes to be in the thick of things she was in the middle, that way she can correct us if we skip a word or misread anything. She's very helpful like that. A child who will argue for several hours about the the viability of dead mice and the fun that can be had with them is a child who demands preciseness in all things.

As I was reading I noticed that Glory was flinging her cheese around quite a bit. It was aspiring to be a helicopter. Since I don't like to sleep on a cheesy bed I told her to "knock off the cheese flinging bit". Edward had fallen asleep or he would have chastised her as well. I continued reading and Glory eventually went back to her cheese flinging ways. I took away her last package of cheese.

She said "HEY!! That's MY cheese!"

I said "If you want to get technical about it it's actually Dad's cheese." (Since he paid for it. He's all sorts of jobby and a breadwinner.)

This is the point at which Edward's head *popped* up, it was a Meerkat Manor moment. (Glory has these moments when, 3 hours after she's been to bed, I get out the ice cream. "I WANT SOME ICE CREAM!". "Go to BED!")

The Man had been asleep. His face had lines on it from where the sheet material had been folded, his eyes were glazed over, he even had bedhead.

He said "Dad's cheese?!? Where's my cheese?!? Is someone eating my cheese?!!!" It would correct to say that he was *keenly* aware that there was the possibility that he was missing out on some cheese. Panicked might be another way of putting it.

I said "Don't worry about it. No one is eating your cheese."

"It's MY cheese and I want it! I heard someone say I had cheese!"

Me, "No daddy, no one has your cheese. It's ok, I was just taking away some of Glory's cheese."

"But I heard cheese!!"

Me, "Yes, I was telling Glory that the cheese was technically yours and I was taking it away because she was flinging it. But you still have all your cheese so it's ok."

Angry Face, confusion, and the look little kids get when every other kid in the room has a three scoop ice cream cone and they don't have any, "But I WANT my cheese! Someone has Daddy Cheese!!" He even pounded his fist on the bed when he said this. (FTR, I don't think the phrase "Daddy Cheese" has ever before been uttered in my house. I do think it will be our newest catchphrase though.)

Glory was laughing pretty hard right then. Which did not put Edward in a better mood. He KNEW someone had his cheese and he WANTED it!

I never knew cheese was a subject he was insecure about.

Glory, "Daddy it was MY cheese! Mama took it away because I was flinging it."

Me, "No baby, no one had Daddy Cheese. Lay down and go back to sleep."

Edward "I WASN'T ASLEEP!! I heard you say it!! Someone has my CHEEEESE!!"

This conversation went on for a while. When Angry Face turned to Fury Eyes I asked, "Edward, have you had any Ambian tonight?"

Realizing that I ask this question when he's being unreasonable and ...weird, his Fury Eyes turned to Guilt Face, "Noooooooo." He laid down and went back to sleep.

It was **such** a guilty no. The kind we call a "Jared No"*. Glory and I both laughed at him, ignored him, and went back to the book. When we finished the chapter and it was time for Glory to get in her own bed, she woke Edward up and gave him her last bit of cheese saying, "Here's your Daddy Cheese."

He had no idea what she was talking about, but he thanked her and ate it anyway.

* A "Jared No", or wearing "Jared Face", is a no or a lie of the guiltiest kind. Jared is Edward's half brother who used to try and lie but his tone and face gave him away horribly. We both use this same tone and face when we know we are lying and we know the other person knows we are lying.

About Buffy Winterrose:

I married a guy that likes boobs. I've got 'em. Our love should last forever.

I have a daughter who thinks I'm the best mom ever! (She doesn't get out much.)

I'm a room mom, PTA Queen, and sometimes I even go out and earn money just for kicks...and money.

Fame is all I'm looking for..and jeans that make my bum look super fly.