The Winterrose Chronicles 14: Mother's Day

Mother's Day is great. It really is. It's like a yearly performance review.

Where my boss's get up early. Dress themselves. And then "review" me while I'm still in my "mom" underwear and a ratty T-shirt. Sometimes they even take pictures.

*Joy*

If I've done a good job for the last year I get a hot breakfast in bed. If I haven't, then I get cold cereal...at the table. Which is not something I dislike..but it ain't no sausages, pancakes, eggs, and hot cocoa in my "Glory's Favorite Mom" cup.

I can always hear the preparations. Like any good mom I lie with my eyes closed and try not to think about the sounds of my kitchen being invaded. No matter how bad I have to get up and pee, I stay where I am!! Until breakfast is brought to me or I am told to come out to the table and eat. (I am convinced that if we had this holiday more often I wouldn't have any problems jumping on trampolines...if you know what I mean.)

As I lay there trying not to wet myself I reflect on the mom I am versus the mom I want to become.

The mom I am-
I don't get up and make anyone breakfast. (Which, honestly, would only involve pouring cereal and milk in a bowl.) Now that The Kid is agile enough to climb onto the counter to get herself a bowl and cereal, and pour milk without spilling, I really see no need. I feel I am teaching her survival skills that will carry her into her college years. (I've also noted that her biceps are pretty large for a kid her age.)

I don't iron. Well I do occasionally. Those occasions being very special ones where I haven't been able to persuade my husband to do it. (I'm not above whoring myself out in exchange for an ironed shirt now and then. Free Enterprise is alive and well in this house. We're all about supply and demand.)

I don't always succeed in teaching what is "proper" in regard to what to write in Mother's Day cards to Grandmother's. The card in question has happy smiling flowers on it. And glitter. Lots and LOTS of glitter. So it could really only be from one grandchild.

There's actually not even a need to sign it.

The card says "For Someone Really Special...You're one of a kind, such a joy and delight, And you're wished a great day that is happy and bright! Happy, Happy Mother's Day!" I felt that maybe a little more instruction was needed when I saw that she wrote. "Hi! It's me Glory, I love the crap out of u! happy mother's Day. glory"

Grandma will now know that we often say "crap". So much so that my child can use it in a variety of ways. Just one of them being to describe her love for someone. I am sure that language skill will be the direct reason for this Grandma's "happy", "bright" day.

The Mother I want to be-
I want to be the kind of mom that gets up every morning and makes her family an amazing four course breakfast. Ok, that's a lie. I want to want to be this kind of mom. But it's just so much work. And my bed is so comfortable. Also, it sounds more expensive than bags of Malt-O-Meal.

As for the ironing thing...I think my daughter's husband will be glad she was taught to iron the "free enterprise" way. I know my husband is a supporter of this creed.

I want to be the kind of mom that does not use the word "crap". But as I've downgraded to "crap" from another "bad" word...I think this will have to do for now. And doesn't that kinda highlight that I've improved over the last year?

I am so getting the hot breakfast in bed this Mother's Day!

About Buffy Winterrose:

I married a guy that likes boobs. I've got 'em. Our love should last forever.

I have a daughter who thinks I'm the best mom ever! (She doesn't get out much.)

I'm a room mom, PTA Queen, and sometimes I even go out and earn money just for kicks...and money.

Fame is all I'm looking for..and jeans that make my bum look super fly.