Give Your Spouse a Massage

Giving your partner a massage is a wonderful and thoughtful gift for a romantic night in. A massage is the perfect way to be intimate with your partner without necessarily being sexual. It shows you care deeply about their well-being and comfort. This is a highly recommended activity for couples who also might need a boost in their romantic lives.

Preparation:

I highly recommend making a comfortable space on the floor as it is much easier for you to get around your partner than on a bed. Plus, it gives you better leverage for using your body weight to massage your partner.

To prepare the massage bed, pad onto the floor a few thick blankets folded on top of each other, uniform in shape and size, but with about six inches on each side of your partner. (OR, if you own a futon, placing the mattress on the floor works great, too!) Test it for comfort. Cover with a sheet. Use another sheet and possibly a blanket to cover your partner and keep them warm. Their comfort is key to helping them relax and enjoy your gift.

Create the appropriate ambiance:

With the following suggested items, we have provided links to where you can purchase these items for your ease and convenience. Plus, we hope they will help you save money on these items!

--Scatter rose petals. If it's a surprise, lead rose petals from the front door to the massage bed. We love the idea of using freeze-dried petals, as you can use them over and over for years! We love The Grower's Box so you can buy them wholesale in bulk for a VERY reasonable price, compared to a florist.

--Warm your massage oil of choice using a baby bottle warmer. You will be amazed at what a difference it makes!

--Easily create your own customized massage oil.

To do this, you will first need some small plastic bottles such as these:

Use one of our recipes for the appropriate massage oil for the effect you want to create:

Aphrodisiac oil:
2 ounces of grapeseed or almond oil
5 drops jasmine oil
10 drops rose oil
10 drops ylang ylang oil

Relaxation oil:
2 ounces grapeseed or almond oil
10 drops lavender oil
15 drops vanilla

Spicy Sensual oil:
2 ounces grapeseed or almond oil
6 drops cinnamon oil
4 drops peppermint oil
10 drops sandalwood oil

Grapeseed and almond oil is easily found at any grocery store. I prefer them for their light texture and neutral aroma. Almond oil is equally great and extra hydrating! You can find your aromas at a local health food store, but for ease and your convenience, we have provided a link to purchase them online:

--Choose the right music. You're going to want something slow and meditative, to set the mood:

--Light plenty candles to subtlely light the room. I prefer non-scented candles, as they will overwhelm the aromatherapy, canceling it out. Plus, most scented candles are synthetic and can create a negative effect on the body.

Tips on massage:

Make sure your hands are clean with your fingernails trimmed. Wear a short sleeved shirt.

Make sure your partner stays warm by only uncovering the area you are massaging.

Use firm pressure, but gauge your pressure based on the comfort of your partner. Naturally, every one has their own unique preference as far as pressure goes.

Always keep a slow tempo. Using a fast pace will invigorate and possibly tickle or agitate (and possibly hurt) your partner. When putting your hands on their body, also go slow.

When you start out, start with lighter strokes and then as the muscular tissue softens, start to go firmer. Starting out firm is uncomfortable, and the tissue needs time to warm up.

Make it flow. Try to avoid jerky movements, and try to avoid taking your hands off your partner's body. Long, fluid strokes feel amazing, even when repetative!

Apply enough oil for a nice glide, but don't apply so much that you SLIDE! There should still be some drag on the skin.

Avoid: Direct pressure on a bone. Direct pressure on a joint, such as the spine, elbows, or knees. Lastly, avoid massaging organs in the abdomen. (Superficial strokes over ALL these areas DO feel amazing, so don't skip them entirely!)

Most importantly: Trust your instincts to know what will feel good. If it looks beautiful then it feels beautiful.

The Massage Protocol

The Back

Have your partner undress and lie down on their front side down on the padding. If they have long hair, gently place it out of the way. Ask your partner if he/she is both comfortable and warm. Invite feedback, letting them know that it is a gift to them, and that it is THEIR time, not yours.

Begin by warming your hands by placing warmed oil on them and quietly rub them together. Start by sitting just above your partner's head. Place your hands on your partners back and begin with long, slow strokes down the back, and come back up. As you come back up the back towards the neck, you can even take it down the arms and back up in one long fluid movement, repeating again down the back. Try alternating your hands up and down your partner's back.

Switch your sitting position next to your partner's side. Apply more oil if needed. Place one hand just barely overlapping the other and use large circles over your partner's back. Alternate your hands over their back, like "wax on, wax off". Try doing that same motion with your forearms, it feels incredible!

Now you can easily work more specific areas. Start with a gentle shoulder rub. I like to use my finger tips to gently press around the shoulder blade (NOT on the actual bone) as there are a lot of knots hiding there. If your partner tells you there is a knot (a very sensitive spot in the muscle), have them direct to exactly where and use your fingertips to firmly press into that spot. Hold direct pressure for a minimum of 30 seconds to get the knot to release.

Massage the neck. Don't forget those tiny headache-causing muscles just beneath the base of the skull at the nape of your partner's neck!

Finish the back with some light stroking. Cover the back with the sheet.

Legs

Uncover one leg at a time. Start with long, slow strokes up and down the leg, starting from the heel of the foot all the way up to the lower back. Treat the buttocks as part of the leg. Massage the leg using both hands and kneading the muscles like dough. When working the buttocks/glutes, I like to use soft fists, and alternate them as you press and twist. Try your forearm to press directly into the glutes.

Have your partner turn over.

Work the front of the legs in a similar fashion as the back, but end your strokes at the top of the quads/thigh.

Arms

Work similarly to the legs and experiment to see what feels good. Don't forget to massage your partner's hands and fingers. It feels SO great!

Scalp

You won't want to put any oil on your hands for the scalp massage. Massage slowly, even trying a few gentle tugs on the scalp.

Feet

Finish your massage with the feet. Be sure to spend PLENTY of time here as it is typically everyone's favorite place to have massaged!

After the massage:

For extra credit, prepare a bath soak for your partner while you clean up! See our Bathing Rituals article to find tons of great ideas for preparing the perfect bath.